Worried About 'Crashers?'
Strangers don't usually bombard your celebration, but that doesn't mean there won't be a few surprise faces come wedding day.
A bride's worst nightmare: serial 'wedding crashers' Vince Vaughn, left, and Owen Wilson make the scene in the movie Wedding Crashers. Brides-to-be should be prepared with a strategy to deal with surprise guests. Image courtesy New Line Cinema,
Vince Vaughn isn't going to crash your wedding.
If you're concerned that strangers inspired by the movie "Wedding Crashers" are going to help themselves to your hors d'oeuvres, don't worry. Most people aren't as brazen in real life as the characters from a movie plot.
However, that doesn't mean you won't have to deal with an "uninvited guest" at your wedding. A former love interest may want see for himself that you're getting married, or a guest may be clueless about wedding invitation etiquette and bring a companion you didn't request.
"I receive thousands of questions a month from people with wedding etiquette questions. So many are about uninvited guests," says Peggy Post, the etiquette expert for the WeddingChannel.com
To avoid embarrassment, you'll want strategies for dealing with unexpected guests.
Although Post can't imagine anyone, such as an old buddy or boyfriend, crashing a wedding, she admits it's possible.
Have the usher escort the person to a seat in the back, where he can sit unobtrusively and observe the ceremony. The wedding planner can assign someone to check invitations and make sure those attending the reception have been invited. If you're assigning tables, the uninvited guest will be hard-put to find a place to sit.
"Most people aren't going to commit a faux pas by crashing a reception," says Post.
However, you'll have to be gracious if your gatecrasher doesn't leave willingly.
"You can't bar an uninvited guest at the door," says Post. "Most wedding consultants have horror stories about uninvited guests, but do have a contingency plan for them."
Caterers usually bring enough food for a few extra meals and most tables can squeeze in one more body.
Instead of strangers, friends and family members are often the cause of diplomatic conflicts.
For example, your best friend may be dating someone she'd love to bring to the wedding, or perhaps your cousin doesn't understand that the ban on children includes her little darlings, too.
You may be able to head off problems by the way you word your invitation. Make it specific to include only the people you want in attendance.
If you address the single parent but not her children, your guest ought to assume that she alone is asked to come. If the invitation reads Mr. and Mrs. Jones and family, the children are included. And if the invitation doesn't mention a companion, then a single isn't supposed to bring a date. Some people may complain, but that shouldn't be your problem.
"Weddings cost a lot of money. It isn't a given that a date is included. A wedding isn't a dating event," says Post.
Parents may not think their newborns count as guests since they don't require any food at the reception. Don't be bullied, says Post.
When you've made it clear that you don't want children, allowing exceptions can create bad feelings among other guests.
Bev Bennett, a veteran food writer and editor, is the author of "Dinner for Two: A Cookbook for Couples" and "30-Minute Meals for Dummies"
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